I Was a Nanny

I’ve had many jobs. Cashier and eventually key holder at Dunkin doughnuts, Food emporium, deli worker, telemarketer, bagel emporium worker, local library clerk. Before that, during the week, 13 to 20, I was a babysitter. At 13 I watched a couple of kids. They were great. I remember one in particular, a little girl whoContinue reading “I Was a Nanny”

I was 18

I went to a club. I made myself up, full makeup, clothing that I thought would make me look older. I went with my girlfriend who was so excited to go dancing. We got in, wearing bracelets that told the bartender we were underage. We initially had a great time. Loved the music, we danced.Continue reading “I was 18”

As I Am

Here I am. In all my glory. Happy on the outside. Afraid of everything on the inside. Here’s 21 year old me looking much more convincing,holding my cat Curtie. Still afraid of Everything. Here’s me in my 30’s. Shielded by the sun but still afraid. Of success mostly. Here’s 2021 me, 45. No armor, afraidContinue reading “As I Am”

Podcast Recomendation

This is a podcast discussing mental health issues from the point of view of those labeled and subsequently stigmatized from as early as five years old. Both hosts are young moms and want to do better by their children. I should clarify, I say “young” but that’s relative isn’t it? I mean they are noContinue reading “Podcast Recomendation”

The importance of being heard

When I was five, in kindergarten, there was another Cindy. To tell us apart, the teacher decreed that I be called by my full name, Cynthia, which I was not accustomed to. Didn’t sound like me. Especially because my twin brother was Bobby. Robert to be fair, but Bobby to us. Just like Cindy andContinue reading “The importance of being heard”

The Beauty of Getting Old

I’ve always held my worth in the way I look. Am I desirable? Do people want to look at me? I’ve been effectively trained to think these things. It has been said that middle aged women are ignored in most situations. I’m dangerously close to this and it’s a shock to the ego. I prideContinue reading “The Beauty of Getting Old”

I was a stripper

I was a mess at 22. It was a hard time. My twin brother had died, we’ll never know definitively how, at 19. In may of that year. I remember the day so clearly. The last day he was alive. I won’t get into it here but it was a catalyst for so many things.Continue reading “I was a stripper”

The Giving Shelf

I’ve lived in New York City for 11 years now. Actually born in NYC, Queens to be exact, but raised in NYC suburbia. I experienced community, helping each other out. Small towns mostly, think Stars Hallow from Gilmore Girls. My dad was raised in NYC and always hated when people talked negatively about NYC, howContinue reading “The Giving Shelf”

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