When my dad was moved to hospice I was terrified. On that day, I had the nerve to suggest to my mom that we see him to hospice then go home and come back the next day. She had the foresight to see that it was the end and we needed to stay where weContinue reading “What does it all mean”
Category Archives: personal story
Why the loss of a pet is a valid loss
There are people who “have pets”. Then there are people who consider pets as a part of their immediate family. I’m the latter. In fact, almost everyone in my immediate biological family is the same in this regard I grew up with cats. I don’t remember a time without cats. True lovers of cats orContinue reading “Why the loss of a pet is a valid loss”
I feel passable today
Ever since turning 49 it’s been touch and go. I feel okay one minute and not okay the next. That’s my inner feelings. They don’t make their way to the surface. I appear stoic. And I am in so many ways. Society doesn’t understand this about women. We can be one thing entirely and anotherContinue reading “I feel passable today”
A Tribute To My Dad
Benedict Rodriguez. Born on Saint Benedict day hence his name. For my mom and his friends he was Benny. Benny from the Bronx. Benny was a safe space for so many. His siblings, cousins and my brother and me. I remember a trip to Florida as a kid. There was an electrical storm. I thinkContinue reading “A Tribute To My Dad”
Dates that changed me on a cellular level
December 8 2023 is one. The day my dad took his last breath. I never imagined I’d hear it but I did. It was labored. In hospice. It was the “death rattle”. It was late. He’d been in hospice for a night. I know now that he’d been in transit before he’d gotten there. InContinue reading “Dates that changed me on a cellular level”
My best friend
Samantha, a rescue tuxedo cat. When she first came into my home, I made the rookie mistake of picking her up before she was ready. She didn’t know me and she came from the mean streets of Queens. At the adoption place they considered her beyond anything but feral, But here she was. 8 monthsContinue reading “My best friend”
The shrinking woman
I’m 49. I think I’m still attractive to men. But I don’t care. People still won’t give their seats on the subway to me. I’m okay with that. It must mean I look younger than I am. But I’m older. And I do need a seat. I have understood that at my age, I willContinue reading “The shrinking woman”
The Bikeriders
It’s a film out right now that not many people get. It’s hitting me differently. maybe because I lost my dad recently. It’s the son father connection that gets me. The Austin Butler character and Tom Hardy character that gets me. In the film, a young man is coveted by an older man. At theContinue reading “The Bikeriders”
Feeling occasionally positive about menopause
I’ve been having hot flashes non stop lately. I haven’t slept a full night in months. One moment I feel fine, the next it’s like my bones are radiators in a prewar walk up in NYC. For those who don’t know what that means, radiators in those buildings have only two settings. Off when theContinue reading “Feeling occasionally positive about menopause”
The support of women
I recently went on a company team building ice skating outing at the iconic Bryant Park in New York City. It was a beautiful thought and was much needed since we’re all gearing up for our busy season. I talked a good game to my co workers. I used to skate every weekend! I couldContinue reading “The support of women”