My twin brother and I, on the night before our 5th birthday, snuggled together. As we did on Christmas Eve. We fought with each other daily but actually loved each other and were there for each other. We had it in our minds, that age 10 was the oldest you could be. We could countContinue reading “We thought we’d live till 10”
Category Archives: loss of a loved one
What I’ve learned on my dad’s deathbed
Half a Person: When a Twin Dies
When my twin brother and I were turning 10, we were convinced that we would die soon. We thought you couldn’t live past age 10. I remember our 5th birthday. We looked at each other, knowing, with a feeling we shouldn’t have felt at that age. We silently commiserated that we were old. We wereContinue reading “Half a Person: When a Twin Dies”
What does it all mean
When my dad was moved to hospice I was terrified. On that day, I had the nerve to suggest to my mom that we see him to hospice then go home and come back the next day. She had the foresight to see that it was the end and we needed to stay where weContinue reading “What does it all mean”
Why the loss of a pet is a valid loss
There are people who “have pets”. Then there are people who consider pets as a part of their immediate family. I’m the latter. In fact, almost everyone in my immediate biological family is the same in this regard I grew up with cats. I don’t remember a time without cats. True lovers of cats orContinue reading “Why the loss of a pet is a valid loss”
A Tribute To My Dad
Benedict Rodriguez. Born on Saint Benedict day hence his name. For my mom and his friends he was Benny. Benny from the Bronx. Benny was a safe space for so many. His siblings, cousins and my brother and me. I remember a trip to Florida as a kid. There was an electrical storm. I thinkContinue reading “A Tribute To My Dad”
Dates that changed me on a cellular level
December 8 2023 is one. The day my dad took his last breath. I never imagined I’d hear it but I did. It was labored. In hospice. It was the “death rattle”. It was late. He’d been in hospice for a night. I know now that he’d been in transit before he’d gotten there. InContinue reading “Dates that changed me on a cellular level”
My best friend
Samantha, a rescue tuxedo cat. When she first came into my home, I made the rookie mistake of picking her up before she was ready. She didn’t know me and she came from the mean streets of Queens. At the adoption place they considered her beyond anything but feral, But here she was. 8 monthsContinue reading “My best friend”
The shrinking woman
I’m 49. I think I’m still attractive to men. But I don’t care. People still won’t give their seats on the subway to me. I’m okay with that. It must mean I look younger than I am. But I’m older. And I do need a seat. I have understood that at my age, I willContinue reading “The shrinking woman”
The Bikeriders
It’s a film out right now that not many people get. It’s hitting me differently. maybe because I lost my dad recently. It’s the son father connection that gets me. The Austin Butler character and Tom Hardy character that gets me. In the film, a young man is coveted by an older man. At theContinue reading “The Bikeriders”