I’m 49.
I think I’m still attractive to men.
But I don’t care.
People still won’t give their seats on the subway to me.
I’m okay with that.
It must mean I look younger than I am.
But I’m older.
And I do need a seat.
I have understood that at my age, I will be loosing my parents and contemporaries.
It doesn’t make it any easier.
In the past year, I’ve lost my dad and my cat that was there for me.
In my cats passing, I gave myself permission to feel my dad’s loss.
Maybe it’s because with my dad, I had to be strong for my mom.
With my cat, I could feel all the feelings.
Grief is a funny thing.