I can’t stop sweating. My left breast has a sharp pain that I thought was a deadly pulmonary embolism today. I considered stopping my life and all my dire responsibilities to go to the ER at 7 am today. I thought better of it because I still need my job. I still need my jobContinue reading “I can’t believe what’s happening, personally”
Tag Archives: personal story
Full circle
The plight of women. We go through our first period as pre teens. We’re insecure at that point, hyper aware of what people think, our physical appearance can seem like everything. Then we get older and own who we are. We’re good. Then perimenopause. It’s like a second right of passage. We spent years facilitatingContinue reading “Full circle”
I’m in my crone era “don’t give a shit?”
I guess that means I’m a woman 50 or over. I’m experienced, been through some shit. Made it through but still experiencing shit. Work interpersonal shit. Having to react to other people’s interpersonal shit. Other people’s interpersonal shit being a thing. My own interpersonal shit there too. Juggling all that interpersonal shit whilst trying toContinue reading “I’m in my crone era “don’t give a shit?””
Full Menopause
When we’re young girl’s going through puberty we learn to stay silent. I got my first period on a camp sleepover. I was 10 years old. I woke up and thought I was dying. I saw blood. Later, my mom told me what that was. I was “a woman”. It sounded like a threat. AllContinue reading “Full Menopause”
Half a Person: When a Twin Dies
When my twin brother and I were turning 10, we were convinced that we would die soon. We thought you couldn’t live past age 10. I remember our 5th birthday. We looked at each other, knowing, with a feeling we shouldn’t have felt at that age. We silently commiserated that we were old. We wereContinue reading “Half a Person: When a Twin Dies”
Why the loss of a pet is a valid loss
There are people who “have pets”. Then there are people who consider pets as a part of their immediate family. I’m the latter. In fact, almost everyone in my immediate biological family is the same in this regard I grew up with cats. I don’t remember a time without cats. True lovers of cats orContinue reading “Why the loss of a pet is a valid loss”
Dates that changed me on a cellular level
December 8 2023 is one. The day my dad took his last breath. I never imagined I’d hear it but I did. It was labored. In hospice. It was the “death rattle”. It was late. He’d been in hospice for a night. I know now that he’d been in transit before he’d gotten there. InContinue reading “Dates that changed me on a cellular level”
Hospice
When my dad finally got approved to go to a specific hospice, he was moved so quickly. Thank God, I thought. There they would give him pain meds. They would attend to him when he Shat himself. I thought, finally, he’d get the empathy to die in a dignified way. I was right. His roomContinue reading “Hospice”
Feeling occasionally positive about menopause
I’ve been having hot flashes non stop lately. I haven’t slept a full night in months. One moment I feel fine, the next it’s like my bones are radiators in a prewar walk up in NYC. For those who don’t know what that means, radiators in those buildings have only two settings. Off when theContinue reading “Feeling occasionally positive about menopause”
The support of women
I recently went on a company team building ice skating outing at the iconic Bryant Park in New York City. It was a beautiful thought and was much needed since we’re all gearing up for our busy season. I talked a good game to my co workers. I used to skate every weekend! I couldContinue reading “The support of women”