Ever since turning 49 it’s been touch and go.
I feel okay one minute and not okay the next.
That’s my inner feelings. They don’t make their way to the surface. I appear stoic. And I am in so many ways.
Society doesn’t understand this about women.
We can be one thing entirely and another entirely at the same time.
Right now I’m okay. I’m okay with the way I look.
It’s interesting that the last time I felt like this was in my adolescence.
Any imperfection is amplified.
That’s peri menopause for you.
I currently have my period. So I feel okay.
Wasn’t expecting it.
When it goes away entirely it will be 12 months of actual menopause.
Interesting how it’s full circle.
When I was 12, I was insecure.
Now, totally secure. But my experience is still somewhat tied to the way I look.
I say somewhat because there’s a big part of me that no longer cares about the way I look.
That’s huge.
I just don’t give even one fuck.
It’s liberating.