Here I am. In all my glory. Happy on the outside. Afraid of everything on the inside. Here’s 21 year old me looking much more convincing,holding my cat Curtie. Still afraid of Everything. Here’s me in my 30’s. Shielded by the sun but still afraid. Of success mostly. Here’s 2021 me, 45. No armor, afraidContinue reading “As I Am”
Category Archives: personal story
Podcast Recomendation
This is a podcast discussing mental health issues from the point of view of those labeled and subsequently stigmatized from as early as five years old. Both hosts are young moms and want to do better by their children. I should clarify, I say “young” but that’s relative isn’t it? I mean they are noContinue reading “Podcast Recomendation”
The importance of being heard
When I was five, in kindergarten, there was another Cindy. To tell us apart, the teacher decreed that I be called by my full name, Cynthia, which I was not accustomed to. Didn’t sound like me. Especially because my twin brother was Bobby. Robert to be fair, but Bobby to us. Just like Cindy andContinue reading “The importance of being heard”
2020, You Bitch!
Here’s my bitter farewell to this asshole of a year.
The Beauty of Getting Old
I’ve always held my worth in the way I look. Am I desirable? Do people want to look at me? I’ve been effectively trained to think these things. It has been said that middle aged women are ignored in most situations. I’m dangerously close to this and it’s a shock to the ego. I prideContinue reading “The Beauty of Getting Old”
I was a stripper
I was a mess at 22. It was a hard time. My twin brother had died, we’ll never know definitively how, at 19. In may of that year. I remember the day so clearly. The last day he was alive. I won’t get into it here but it was a catalyst for so many things.Continue reading “I was a stripper”
Deep Thoughts 2020
The Giving Shelf
I’ve lived in New York City for 11 years now. Actually born in NYC, Queens to be exact, but raised in NYC suburbia. I experienced community, helping each other out. Small towns mostly, think Stars Hallow from Gilmore Girls. My dad was raised in NYC and always hated when people talked negatively about NYC, howContinue reading “The Giving Shelf”
Making it okay to talk about sexual abuse male or female
I’ve recently joined multiple sites online in an attempt to feel human connection in this worldwide pandemic. If we can walk away with anything good about 2020, it’s that we’ve stripped our masks, the ones we’ve been wearing for years. The ones that made it okay to answer the question “how are you?” With theContinue reading “Making it okay to talk about sexual abuse male or female”
My Terrible trip to the OBGYN
I went to the gynecologist this morning. I’m uninsured right now so I go to a clinic with a sliding scale which means you pay based on your most recent income earned. As you can imagine, the waiting list is very long. I prefer, no, NEED, a female doctor. I’m not comfortable with a manContinue reading “My Terrible trip to the OBGYN”
