Samantha, a rescue tuxedo cat. When she first came into my home, I made the rookie mistake of picking her up before she was ready. She didn’t know me and she came from the mean streets of Queens. At the adoption place they considered her beyond anything but feral, But here she was. 8 monthsContinue reading “My best friend”
Author Archives: Cindy
My Cat
I recently lost Samantha, my best friend, my best cat. She was in pain for a couple weeks, those who love pets know how painful that is to watch. When she was healthy she would greet me at the door to my apartment. She’d throw herself on the ground after I’d greet her. Exposing herContinue reading “My Cat”
Just getting by
After experiencing my dad on his deathbed not much matters. It seems any effort in this life is irrelevant. But here we are. We can’t live without going through the motions. Going through the motions seems to be all we can do. I guess that’s okay. I’ll take it. It told me, the only thingContinue reading “Just getting by”
The shrinking woman
I’m 49. I think I’m still attractive to men. But I don’t care. People still won’t give their seats on the subway to me. I’m okay with that. It must mean I look younger than I am. But I’m older. And I do need a seat. I have understood that at my age, I willContinue reading “The shrinking woman”
The Bikeriders
It’s a film out right now that not many people get. It’s hitting me differently. maybe because I lost my dad recently. It’s the son father connection that gets me. The Austin Butler character and Tom Hardy character that gets me. In the film, a young man is coveted by an older man. At theContinue reading “The Bikeriders”
Hospice
When my dad finally got approved to go to a specific hospice, he was moved so quickly. Thank God, I thought. There they would give him pain meds. They would attend to him when he Shat himself. I thought, finally, he’d get the empathy to die in a dignified way. I was right. His roomContinue reading “Hospice”
Feeling occasionally positive about menopause
I’ve been having hot flashes non stop lately. I haven’t slept a full night in months. One moment I feel fine, the next it’s like my bones are radiators in a prewar walk up in NYC. For those who don’t know what that means, radiators in those buildings have only two settings. Off when theContinue reading “Feeling occasionally positive about menopause”
The support of women
I recently went on a company team building ice skating outing at the iconic Bryant Park in New York City. It was a beautiful thought and was much needed since we’re all gearing up for our busy season. I talked a good game to my co workers. I used to skate every weekend! I couldContinue reading “The support of women”
Feeling the presence of a loved one that’s passed
When my twin died, I felt it. We had just turned 19. I was driving and stuck in stand still traffic. I felt the wind get knocked out of me from behind. In a moment, I felt everything then nothing. But the nothing lasted only a second. The nothing became everything. It was warm. ItContinue reading “Feeling the presence of a loved one that’s passed”
The one were my twin and I thought we would die at age 10
I remember my 5th birthday. My twin brother and I couldn’t sleep that night. We knew there was an event happening. The event was our 5th birthday. For whatever reason, we thought we wouldn’t make it to 10. We thought 10 was “old age”. I slipped into my brothers bed. He was great full. AlthoughContinue reading “The one were my twin and I thought we would die at age 10”