U.S. Immigration Raids in Schools: “Rules” the internet says ICE officers are supposed to follow.

https://mobilizationforjustice.org/wp-content/uploads/What-to-do-if-ICE-Comes-to-Your-School.pdf

This is useful I guess. It says ICE “probably won’t” raid a school but that’s already not at all true.

However, it’s quite possible the school I’m thinking of in the Bronx, NY, didn’t know the procedure officers need to follow. They have to have a warrant for instance but what does one look like? Would a teacher or principal know what one looks like?

They are not allowed to take a student off school grounds without “permission of a parent or guardian”, or a “crime was committed on school grounds”.

Because I’m apparently an HR/legal go to for work now, even though completely untrained, here’s my reasons for perens:

I bet permission to take a child can be argued if a terrified immigrant parent who may not have mastered the language says anything that even sounds like permission.

A parent might mean, I want my child with me, but can actually be heard as, take my child from school and bring them here, the small cold and dank room I’m imagining these ppl are taken too.

As far as a crime? Well, according to our dictator, that’s right, dictator, a crime has been committed simply by existing on United States soil.

This is horrible to know…not think…know, that small children are being rounded up by scary strangers who consider them “criminals” and taken to strange places away from their mommy’s and daddy’s.

It’s possible they’ll never see them again.

What happens to these children? I picture them huddled in corners, afraid for their lives.

These are things that will create extremely damaged adults who may even believe what’s thought of them and become criminals.

Why the loss of a pet is a valid loss

Teenage me with my little Curtie. My girl before Sammy

There are people who “have pets”.

Then there are people who consider pets as a part of their immediate family.

I’m the latter.

In fact, almost everyone in my immediate biological family is the same in this regard

I grew up with cats.

I don’t remember a time without cats.

True lovers of cats or any animal would know that you don’t “own” them, they’re your counterparts, your daily companions, they’re the ones there that accept you no matter what.

They’re there through thick and thin.

Sickness and health.

No questions asked.

The decision to end their life often falls on you, the person who loves them.

I made this decision recently with my tuxedo Sammy. My beautiful best friend and family member who was in pain and hated the vet.

It was the right decision, I tell myself.

She could’ve stayed in pain and found deeper places to hide in our apartment.

Or, I could’ve admitted her to an animal hospital and hooked her up to an IV for weeks.

Anyone who knows cats knows, they’re terrified of new places and smells.

I could’ve signed Sammy up for IV treatment and it would’ve been horrible for her.

I made the decision to put her down.

A decision that I’ll go over and over in my head for the foreseeable future.

“She perked up for a second that last day!” Is something I might think when the devil on my shoulder suggests that I made a decision to execute my loved one in cold blood.

The reality is, I thought about her quality of life.

I tell myself that.

Still have doubts if I think too hard.

What a weight it is to decide to end a life!

However, I know my cat. I knew she knew it was the end. It could be painless or traumatizing and painful like most humans deaths.

I tell myself that at least. 😕

I feel passable today

Ever since turning 49 it’s been touch and go.

I feel okay one minute and not okay the next.

That’s my inner feelings. They don’t make their way to the surface. I appear stoic. And I am in so many ways.

Society doesn’t understand this about women.

We can be one thing entirely and another entirely at the same time.

Right now I’m okay. I’m okay with the way I look.

It’s interesting that the last time I felt like this was in my adolescence.

Any imperfection is amplified.

That’s peri menopause for you.

I currently have my period. So I feel okay.

Wasn’t expecting it.

When it goes away entirely it will be 12 months of actual menopause.

Interesting how it’s full circle.

When I was 12, I was insecure.

Now, totally secure. But my experience is still somewhat tied to the way I look.

I say somewhat because there’s a big part of me that no longer cares about the way I look.

That’s huge.

I just don’t give even one fuck.

It’s liberating.

A Tribute To My Dad

Me and dad

Benedict Rodriguez.

Born on Saint Benedict day hence his name.

For my mom and his friends he was Benny. Benny from the Bronx.

Benny was a safe space for so many.

His siblings, cousins and my brother and me.

I remember a trip to Florida as a kid. There was an electrical storm.

I think in a previous life, I died in a tornado which is why extreme weather scares me so much.

We were outside when this storm blew in. I buried my head in my dad’s stomach.

He held me tight.

I knew I was safe.

It’s ironic because what was the beginning of the end for him was a lyposarcoma in his stomach.

What was once so safe.

I remember when he got the lyposarcoma removed from his stomach, he commented that he felt less strong.

He thought his strength was in his stomach.

I think his strength was in his character. He was a man who would hold his daughter close in a storm and never let her go.

I miss him so much and I will live in his honor.

Dates that changed me on a cellular level

December 8 2023 is one.

The day my dad took his last breath.

I never imagined I’d hear it but I did.

It was labored. In hospice. It was the “death rattle”.

It was late. He’d been in hospice for a night.

I know now that he’d been in transit before he’d gotten there.

In transit between the energy that is this life and the energy that is the “afterlife”.

Whatever that means.

The other is Memorial Day. 30 years ago.

When my twin, Bobby, took his last breath.

It was devastating to my family.

I had been dreaming of it for years before.

As kids, I kept a dream journal and I liked to regale my family of my dreams as they happened.

My brother always chastised me for it.

He said when I started a sentence with “in my dream”…..

People lost interest. He lost interest.

How apt though.

My dreams were mostly about him leaving this existence.

There are more that I can’t place the date.

My aunt Sally. My mom’s older sister. When she died, before we were told, I had a dream that she came to me. She said goodbye and that she had to make more stops before she left.

I remember waking up that day and wanting to hug my mom. Her little sister.

Like my grandfather, Placido.

Or my grandmother Carmen.

Others too.

Isn’t life amazing!

My best friend

Samantha, a rescue tuxedo cat.

When she first came into my home, I made the rookie mistake of picking her up before she was ready.

She didn’t know me and she came from the mean streets of Queens.

At the adoption place they considered her beyond anything but feral,

But here she was. 8 months old ish.

She hid in my apartment after I tragically picked her up.

Under the stove.

For 2 weeks, I put tuna on my fingers and let her sniff and lick it up.

The 3rd week, she was out from underneath the stove and next to me as a friend.

Our relationship grew from there.

She was my ride or die.

For everything.

We enjoyed Huggies and kisses.

Especially this past year when I would come home so distraught because of a day in the hospital with my dad.

Sammy was there. And she understood.

If you think an animal doesn’t understand your pain, you’re not connected to that animal.

When my dad died I didn’t cry. Because I had been processing his death in real time.

And I could go and bury my face in Sammy’s black and white fur.

Because she was my BFF.

She got me through the death of my dad.

Now that she’s gone it’s hard for me.

I cried more for her than I did him.

Maybe because I made the decision to end her pain.

I maybe coupled these tragedies.

Theres guilt involved on both fronts.

I could’ve been there more for my dad, I could’ve done more for Sammy.

In the end I hope I did the right thing.

I think I did.

My Cat

I recently lost Samantha, my best friend, my best cat.

She was in pain for a couple weeks, those who love pets know how painful that is to watch.

When she was healthy she would greet me at the door to my apartment. She’d throw herself on the ground after I’d greet her. Exposing her tummy for me to kiss. Anyone who knows cats knows that’s the ultimate trust.

I come home and expect to find her at the door but there’s nothing.

It’s so painful.

My other cat Harry feels it too.

I have to cuddle him more.

Samantha was a great cat.

We’ll miss her.

Just getting by

Those left behind

After experiencing my dad on his deathbed not much matters.

It seems any effort in this life is irrelevant.

But here we are.

We can’t live without going through the motions.

Going through the motions seems to be all we can do.

I guess that’s okay.

I’ll take it.

It told me, the only thing that matters is personal relationships.

Love. The only thing that matters is those you love.

Hold on to those you love, tell those people you love them often.

In the end it’s all that matters.

The shrinking woman

I’m 49.

I think I’m still attractive to men.

But I don’t care.

People still won’t give their seats on the subway to me.

I’m okay with that.

It must mean I look younger than I am.

But I’m older.

And I do need a seat.

I have understood that at my age, I will be loosing my parents and contemporaries.

It doesn’t make it any easier.

In the past year, I’ve lost my dad and my cat that was there for me.

In my cats passing, I gave myself permission to feel my dad’s loss.

Maybe it’s because with my dad, I had to be strong for my mom.

With my cat, I could feel all the feelings.

Grief is a funny thing.

The Bikeriders

It’s a film out right now that not many people get.

It’s hitting me differently. maybe because I lost my dad recently.

It’s the son father connection that gets me.

The Austin Butler character and Tom Hardy character that gets me.

In the film, a young man is coveted by an older man.

At the same time, a woman is in love with this young man.

It comes down to what this young man wants.

Which is not defined until the end.