I lost my dad a month ago.
I was with him when he transitioned. It was traumatic for me and I don’t want to even imagine how traumatic it was for him.
He was is in so much excruciating pain. All the time. It was excruciating to watch.
I’m not a cryer. Nor was he but there were tears. In the end. But he couldn’t communicate at that point. It fills me with sadness knowing that he was so afraid that he cried without the capability of communicating. There were tears falling. I kissed them away.
This was a man raised in the 1940’s. Boys were not allowed to feel at that time. He was conditioned to hold his emotions back. Yet faced with so much sadness…
I tend to compartmentalize things. Like him.
As I’ve compartmentalized his passing.
As he would’ve done.
I fear the tears that are coming. I will shed them with my mom, his wife if 52 years.
I’m so grateful that my mom and I still have each other. Grief is so specific. We get to know it more and more as we age.
I’m great full for the ppl in my life as I live it!
If I love you, I will end every conversation with an “I love you”, from now on. We don’t have tomorrow promised.