We don’t all understand what the other has been through. What they’ve experienced throughout their lives.
What upsets one may not upset the other.
What is wonderful to one is triggering to another.
Let’s talk about the word “triggering.“
Some may think it means to gently annoy.
Or to make someone roll their eyes or upset to the point of rolling their eyes.
It’s actually a professional term.
It means to evoke strong feelings that overtake.
If you are someone with an anxiety disorder, it stops you in your tracks.
If you are someone who has PTSD, it stops you in a different way.
You hear the trigger. It could be anything that reminds you.
You shut down slowly by coasting over any feeling.
But you are slowing down. You are slowly dissociating.
By slowly, I mean minutes, hours or days.
You are moving away from the present to oblivion.
Oblivion turns out to be a place you’ve been before.
When you were helpless.
When no one would hear you.
But you’re not there yet.
You have to work in the meantime.
Excellence is expected.
But you’re off.
You’re in the past but you’re also in the present.
It’s an impossible situation and you’re set up to fail.
Like you felt you failed in the past, no matter how old you were, and any criticism cuts like a knife.
Because you’re a failure.
It’s a headspace that you’re physically unable to release yourself from.
This is different from direct re trauma.
Like, your trauma stems from a civilian explosion in your house, you hear a loud noise in the distance, and you instinctively put your head between your knees.
Conversely, This is pervasive.
It can start with an idea.
It’s a real thing and it’s devastating.
It’s also basically invisible to the naked eye of anyone not experiencing these things.
Therefore it doesn’t really exist to most.
This makes it so much worse for the experiencer.
I appreciate those who talk openly about mental health.
About things that most would like to ignore.
Because no one wants to be vulnerable.
And for some, vulnerability has devastating consequences.