Sammy
Sammy is upset but playing it cool, and calling Belle.
Belle
Hey Sammy. I got your text. What’s the 911?
I’ve thrown myself into this pillow. I’m so upset!!
Belle
I’m listening…
Sammy
I threw myself on a different pillow because I was just grossly overlooked!
Belle
Go on.
Sammy
Well, my male human, the one that hasn’t been home, is apparently opening a bar. Clearly he needs a capable mouser! He hasn’t asked me once to take the position!
Belle
Wow. Just wow.
Sammy
I mean, he knows I’m from the streets! I pulled a mouse carcass from a hole in his first apartment and dropped it at his feet! He was like “what’s that smell?” It’s a fucking dead mouse bitch! Here it is!
Belle
Humans can be so ungrateful.
Sammy
Yes. They can. It took a while to dig that carcass out. It wasn’t a confirmed kill but an excavation which actually is harder!
Belle
You’re perfect for the mouser position. Who knows what his problem is. I certainly DID NOT send my resume to him.
Sammy
Wait. What?
Belle
I mean, I definitely didn’t send a PDF file of my confirmed kills to him…or anyone! I got your back girl!
Sammy
A PD-what?
Belle
Nothing! Absolutely nothing!
Sammy
Anyway, thanks for listening. He came home after so many nights like he was so stressed out and it pissed me off. I know from Harry who grew up in a bar that there are mice. And they need to be taken care of. Just thought that job was mine cause we have history you know?
Belle
Yes, yes, of course. You see I’m not emailing a PDF of my resume, just sitting on a magazine. Keep me posted.