I was 18

I went to a club. I made myself up, full makeup, clothing that I thought would make me look older.

I went with my girlfriend who was so excited to go dancing.

We got in, wearing bracelets that told the bartender we were underage.

We initially had a great time. Loved the music, we danced.

I met a guy.

He was genuine. We talked at great length about music, life and what we thought we were.

His name was Chris. I was falling in love with him.

It seemed like he was falling in love with me too.

He asked me if I would go to a diner with him, so we could talk more.

I was so exited that he saw me as someone to even entertain. I of course said yes.

He said “Great! Meet me out front in a few minutes! I’m just gonna get my car!”

Good because I had to find my friend and tell her I met the love of my life and he was going to take me to a diner and the rest of my life.

I couldn’t find her, truth be told, I didn’t look that hard. She’d be fine. She drove her parents car there. She could drive back.

I went outside and waited for Chris. A car pulled up. Chris opened a door. I ran into the car toward my new love. He wrapped me in his arms.

I felt so ecstatic. So safe.

It took a minute to see there were other men in the car or van, I can’t remember. I assumed they were his trusted friends.

Then the car/ van sped up.

Chris pushed me away.

A pair of arms reached me from behind and ripped my top in two.

I heard a voice. “Is she pregnant?” Then laughter. Mocking laughter.

I’ll remember that for the rest of my life.

Chris grabbed a chunk of my hair on the back of my head and held it at his erect penis.

I don’t want to write what happened next. It’s already re traumatized me at the thought.

The last thing I remember is being thrown out of a moving car and up against a dumpster.

I stayed there for a while. I felt like I belonged there. Trash.

My friend, thank God she was so intense, wouldn’t stop until she found me.

She did. I was lifeless against the dumpster,.

She called the police and my parents.

I don’t remember how, but I was in a police station recanting what had happened.

I remember it like a distant memory that belongs to someone else.

The only thing I remember as myself is an officer asking me if I had ripped my own top.

I hadn’t, it was someone else in the car or van. I had already blacked this out.

No one believed this had actually happened.

At the time even I doubted it happened but it did.

A man named Chris, lured a young and naive girl , into a car, forced oral sex, gave her to his friends for ridicule, then pushed her out of a moving car and into a dumpster, laughing.

The police told me he probably wouldn’t be caught, because I hadn’t provided enough information.

He’s out there. His friends too.

And here I am. Coming to terms with it.

I’ve never told anyone except the police, my friend who was horrified and my parents who were called.

Published by Cindy

For money, I’m what you call a banquet captain. That means I’m in charge of timing and staff at special events, weddings, benefits, movie premiere parties...ect. I’m also a filmmaker and freelance writer. I’m owned by two cats, Samantha and Harrison Chase who reluctantly allow me to travel, something I’m made to do.

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